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石川啄木 ローマ字日記 明治42年(1909年)4月22日〜4月26日


[ニワトコ]


*漢字と仮名では書けないことをローマ字で

石川啄木 ローマ字日記
 明治42年(1909年)4月22日〜4月26日

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22 TH, THURSDAY.

 Sakuya hayaku neta node, Kyô wa 6ji goro ni okita. Soshite Uta wo tsukutta. Hareta Hi ga Gogo ni natte kumotta.

 Yoru, Kindaichi kun to katari, Uta wo tsukuri, 10 ji goro mata Kindaichi kun no Heya e itte, tsukutta Uta wo yonde Ô-warai. San-zan huzake-chirashite, ôsawa-gi wo shi kaette kite neta.


23 TH, FRIDAY.

 6 ji-han goro ni okite Senmenjo ni iku to, Kindaichi kun ga Benjo de aisatsu sareta to yû 19 ban no Heya no Bijin ga ima shimo Kao wo aratte dete yuku tokoro.  Osok-atta Yuranosuke !  Sono Onna no tsukatta Kanadarai de Kao wo aratte, ' nanda, Baka na koto wo shiyagaru nâ ! ' to Kokoro no uchi.

 Uta wo tsukuru.  Yo ga Jiyû-Jizai ni Kushi suru koto no dekiru no wa Uta bakari ka to omô to ii Kokoromochi de wa nai.

 11 ji goro kara Ame ga furi-dashita, Sha de wa Kimura, Maekawa no Ryô-rôjin ga yasunda no de Dai-ippan no Kôryô made Tabako mo nomenu Isogashisa.

 Kaeru koro kara Baka ni samuku natte kita.  Sore ni Hara ga hette iru no de Densya no naka de Hiza-kozô ga furueta.  Chûgaku-jidai no Chijin Naganuma-kun ni atta.  Namashiroi, Ôkina Kao ni, Takabô wo kabutte, imafû no Kwaisha-in ka Yakunin-fû no Style wo shite, dô yara Kodomo no ari sô na Ôhei na Yôsu da.  Koitsu dôse kuru Yatsu de nai kara to Banchi wo kaite Meishi wo kurete yatta.

 Chikagoro Densha no naka de yoku Mukashi no Chijin ni au.  Kinô mo Sukiyabashi de oriru toki, Dekuchi ni chikaku Koshi-kakete ita Kakuobi no Seinen.

 " Shitsurei de su ga, Anata wa Morioka ni irashitta Ishi ----"

 " Sô desu, Ishikawa desu."

 " Watashi wa Shibanai----"

 Shibanai Kaoru, ano kaaikatta Kodomo ! Doko' ni , iru to kiitara, Akasaka no Tada ----moto no Morioka-chûgaku no Kôchô ---- no Uchi ni iru to itta.  Kotchi no Jûsho wa oshieru Hima mo naku Yo wa orite shimatta.

 Kindaichi kun wa shikiri ni Asu no Lecture no Sôkô wo tsukutte iru rashii.  Yo wa kaette kite Meshi ga sumu to sugu torikakatte Uta wo tsukuri hajimeta.  Kono aida kara no Bun wo awasete, 12 ji goro made kakatte 70shu ni shite, " 莫復問七十首 " to Dai-shite kokoro yoku neta.   Nani ni kagirazu ichi-nichi Hima naku Shigoto wo shita ato no Kokoromochi wa tatôru mono mo naku tanoshii.  Jinsei no Shin no fukai Imi wa kedashi Koko ni aru no darô !


24 TH ,  SATURDAY. 

  Hareta Hi de wa atta ga Kita-kaze wa fuite, Kandankei wa 62 do 8 bu ni shika noboranakatta.

 ' Subaru ' no Boshû no Uta " Aki " 698 shu uchi kara, Gozen no uchi ni 40 shu dake eranda.  Sha ni iku toki sore to Sakuya no " Bakufumon 70shu." to wo Hiraide kun no tokoro ni oite itta.

  Kyô no Kiji no naka ni Renshû-kantai Taiheiyô-ôdan no Tsûshin ga atte, sono naka ni, Shunki-kôreisai no Asa, Kanin mina Kanpan ni dete Nishi no Sora wo nozonde Kôrei wo haishita to yû tokoro ga atta.   Mimi no kikenai Rô-shôsetsu-ka no Mishina-jiisan,  " Nishi no sora de wa Nippon no Hôkaku de wa nai " to itte Gwan to shite kikanakatta.  Sore kara Maekawa-jiisan wa Kinô Mudan-kekkin shita to yû no de, Katô " Round-eyes " to Kenkwa wo shite itakke.  Kono Hito wa Yo no Chichi ni nita Hito na no da.

  Sukoshi osoku natte kaetta.  Tsukue no ue ni wa Genkôshi no ue ni Tegami rashii mono ----- Mune wo odorashite Dentô , no Neji wo hineru to, sore wa Sapporo no Chie-ko san kara ------!  Taiin no shirase no Hagaki wo moratte kara Yo wa mada Henji wo dasazu ni itatta no da.

 " Hakodate nite ome-ni-kakarishi wa Wazuka no aida ni sôraishi ga O-wasure mo naku O-tegami .................. o-ureshiku " ------ to kaite aru.  " Kono goro wa Soto wo Sanpo suru kurai ni ai-nari sôrô." to kaite aru.  "Mukashi shinobare sôrô " to kaite aru.  Soshite, " O-hima araba Hagaki nari to mo ------ " to kaite aru.

 Kindaichi kun ga haitte kita.  Kyô no Lecture no Seiseki ga yokatta to miete niko-niko shite iru.  Hana-shi wa iro-iro de atta ga, Tomo no Me no Yo ni kataru tokoro wa, " Sôsaku wo yare." to yû koto de atta.  " Sokuseki no ato wo kake."  to itta.  Soshite I ka-ge-tsu-zen no Yo no Kôfun-jidai wo katatte sono Me wa Yo no Genzai no fukaki Kyômi wo ushinatta Kimochi wo semuru gotoku de atta.  Yo wa itta :

 " Da ga, Kindaichi san, Ore datte sugu Anata no Kibô ni soitai .................. ga, Ore ni wa ima Teki ga naku-natta !  Dô mo Hariai ga nai."

 " Teki !   Sô desu nê ! "

 " Ano koro no Teki wa Ôta-kun datta.  Jissai desu."

 " Sô deshita nê ! "

 " Ôta to Ore no Torihiki wa angwai hayaku owatte shimatta.

 ‘ Nigen, Nigen, nao tokiezuba Sangen wo tatsuru Ikigomi, kashikoki Tomo kana.'

 Watashi wa kono Uta wo tsukuru toki dare wo omoi-ukabeta to omoi masu ?  Ueda san to, sore kara Ôta-kun desu.  Mada kono hoka ni mo Ôta ni taisuru Shisô-jô no Zekkô-jô wo Imi suru Uta wo mitsu yotsu tsukuri mashita yo."

 " Tsumari, mô Ôta-kun wo suteta'-n desu ka ? "

 " Teki de wa naku nattandesu.  Dakara Ore wa kô Gakkari shite shimattan-desu.  Teki !  Teki !  Authority no nai Jidai ni wa tsuyoi Teki ga nakucha Dame desu yo.  Soko e yuku to Doppo nanka wa erai, jitsu ni e rai."

 Konna Hanashi mo, shikashi Yo no Shinzô ni sukoshi no Kodô wo mo okosanakatta.


25 TH ,  SUNDAY.  

 Yo no Genzai no Kyômi wa tada hitotsu aru : sore wa Sha ni itte 2jikan mo 3jikan mo lki mo tsukazu ni Kôsei suru koto da.  Te ga aku to Atama ga nan to naku Kûkyo wo kanzuru : Jikan ga nagaku nomi omoeru.  Hajime Yo no Kokoro wo odoritatashita Rintenki no Hibiki mo, ima de wa narete shimatte tsuyoku wa Mimi ni hibikanai.  Kesa kono koto wo kangaete kanashiku natta.

 Yo wa subete no mono ni Kyômi wo ushinatte iki-tsutsu aru no de wa aru mai ka ?  Subete ni Kyômi wo ushinau to yû koto wa, sunawachi Subete kara ushina-wareru to yû koto da.

 " I have had lost from everything ! " Kô yû Jiki ga moshi Yo ni kitara !

 " Kake-ashi wo shite lki ga kireta no da.  Ore wa ima Nami-ashi de aruite iru." to Yo wa Sakuban Tomo ni katatta.

 Kyô wa Hôhei-kôshô no Dai-entotsu ga Kemuri wo haite inai.

 Sha ni itte Gekkyû wo uketotta.  Genkin shichi-yen to 18yen no Zenshaku-shô.  Sengetsu wa 25 yen no Kao wo mita dake de Satô san ni kaeshite shimai,  kekkyoku I mon mo motte kaeru koto ga dekinakatta ga ---------

 Nichi-yô da kara Dai-ippan dake de Yo wa kaetta. Soshite 4 ji goro Surugadai no Yosano-si wo tazuneta, Shujin wa Haiyû-yôseijo no Shibai wo mi ni itte Rusu datta ga, Nikai de Aki-ko san to hanashite iru to Yoshii kun ga kita.  Hirayama Yoshi-ko no hanashi ga deta.

 Aki-ko san wa, Kondo no Tanka-gô ni dasu Yosano-si no Uta wa Butsugi wo kamoshi sô da to yû.  Dô shite desu to yû to,

 " Konaida futari de Kenkwa shitandesu yo.  Uchi ga, Anata, Nanase bakkari kaaigatte Yatsuo wo, dô shite nandesu ka, taisô ijimeru-nde gozaimasu yo.  Anmari ijimeru mondesu kara masu-masu Shinkei ga yowatte naku mondesu kara ne, konaida I shûkan dake shikara-nai Yakusoku shite morattandesu ga, sore wo nê, mata pisha-pisha Kao wo butsu mondesu kara, Watashi son-na ni Kodomo wo ijimerareru nara Uchi e kaeri-masu to yû to okorimashite nê.  Sore wo kondo no Uta ni tsukutta-nde gozai-masu no.  ' Tsuma ni suterareta ' to ka nan to ka iron na no ga ari-masu yo."

  “Ha, ha, ha !  Sô desu ka."

  “Sore kara, anô, Yamakawa-san ga o-nakunari ni nari-mashita yo."

  " Yamakawa-san ga ...... ! "

 “ Eh, ................ Kongetsu no 15nichi ni ....."

  Hakukô naru Jo-shijin Yamakawa Tomi-ko Joshi wa tsui ni shinda no ka ?!
 ............................... !

 Yosano-shi ga kaette kite Ma mo naku Yo wa jishita.  Nani yara no Hanashi no tsuzuki de " Ha. ha. ha." to warai nagara Soto ni deta Yo wa, ni-san-po aruite " tche," to Shitauchi shita.  " Yoshi !  Karera to Boku to wa chigatteru no da.  Fun ! mite iyagare, Bakayarô-me ! "

  Densha no 20 kwai-ken wo katta.

  Atama ga sukoshi itai.  Kindaichi-kun wo sasotte Sanpo ni dekaketa.  Hongô 3 chôme de,

 " Doko e iki-masu ? "

  " Sô ! "

  Sakamoto-yuki no Norikae-kippu wo kirasete Yoshiwara e itta.  Kindaichi kun ni wa ni-dome ka san-dome da ga, Yo wa umarete hajimete kono Fuyajô ni Ashi wo ireta.  Shikashi omotta yori hiroku mo naku, tamageru hodo no koto mo nakatta.  Kuruwa no naka wo hito-meguri mawatta.  Sasuga ni utsukushii ni wa utsukushii.

  Kadoebi no Ô-dokei ga l0 ji wo utte Ma mo naku Yo-ra wa sono Hana no yô na Kuruwa wo dete, Kuruma de Asakusa made kita.  Tôkaen wo arukô ka to ii-dashita ga, futari tomo Kyômi ga nakunatte ita no de, soshite, Baka ni Kûfuku wo kanjite ita no de, to-aru Gyûniku-ya ni agatte Meshi wo kutta.  Sô shite 12 ji sukoshi sugi ni kaette kita.

 " Yoru Me wo samasu to, Amadare no Oto ga nan-da ka Rinshitsu no Sazame-goto no yô de, utsukushii Hito ga Makura-moto ni iru yô na ............ Hyôbyô taru Kokochi ni naru koto ga aru." to yû yô na koto wo Kindaichi kun ga ii-dashita.

 " Hyôbyô taru Kokochi ! " to Yo wa itta.  " Watashi wa sonna Kokochi wo wasurete kara nan-nen ni naru ka wakaranai ! "

 Tomo wa mata, " Watashi mo itsu ka zehi, asoko e itte mitai.' to yû yô na koto wo itta.

  " Ôi ni ii " to Yo wa itta. " Itta hô ga ii desu yo. Soshite Kekkon shitara dô desu ? "

  " Aite sae areba itsu demo.  Da ga Kekkon shitara anna tokoro e ikanakutemo ii ka mo shire masen ne ! "

 " Sô ja nai.  Boku wa Yappari itta hô ga ii to omô."

 " Sô desu ne ! "

 " Nan desu nê, Asakusa wa, iwaba, Tan ni Nikuyoku no Manzoku wo uru tokoro da kara, Aite ga tsumari wa donna Yatsu de mo kamawanai ga, Yoshiwara nara Boku wa yahari utsukushii Onna to netai.   Asoko ni wa Rekishiteki Rensô ga aru, ittai ga Bijutsu-teki da ........... Kwabi wo tsukushita Heya no naka de, moetatsu yô na Momi-ura no, neru to Karada ga shizumu yô na Futon ni nete, Rantô Kage komayaka naru tokoro, Hyôbyô taru Kimochi kara fu' to Me wo aku to, Makura-moto ni utsukushii Onna ga Gyôgi yoku suwatte iru .................. ii ja ari-masenka ? "

 " Ah, tamaranaku naru ! "

 "Yoshiwara e ittara Bijin de nakya ikemasen yo.  Asakusa nara mata nan demo kan demo Nikutai no Hatsuiku no ii, Organ no Kwanzen na Yatsu de naku-châ ikenai ........ "

  Futari wa I jikan chikaku mo sono ' Hyôbyô taru Kimochi ' ya, Morioka no aru Jogakusei de Yoshiwara ni iru to yû Kuji nanigashi no koto wo katatte neta.


26 TH ,  MONDAY. 

 Me wo samasu to Hibachi no Hi ga kiete ita.  Atama no naka ga jime-jime shimette iru yô na Kokoro-mochi datta.

 Nan to ka shite akarui Kibun ni naritai to yû yô na koto wo kangaete iru tokoro e Namiki kun no Hagaki ga tsuita.

 Sore wo miru to Yo no Atama wa sukkari kuraku,  tsumetaku,  shimeri-kaette shimatta.  Karite Shichi ni irete aru Tokei wo Kongetsu-chû ni kaeshite kure-mai ka to yû Hagaki da.

 Ah !  Kesa hodo Yo no kokoro ni Shi to yû Mondai ga chokusetsu ni sematta koto ga nakatta.  Kyô Sha ni ikô ka ikumai ka ...... iya, iya, sore yori mo mazu shinô ka shinumai ka ? .................. Sô da, kono Heya dewa ikenai.   Ikô, doko ka e ikô ............

  Yu ni ikô to yû Kangae ga okotta.  Sore wa Jibun nagara kono Fuyukwai na Kibun ni taerarenakatta no da : sen-jitsu itta-toki no ii Kimochi ga omoi-dasareta no da.  To ni Kaku Yu ni ikô.   Soshite kara kangaeru koto ni shiyô.  Soshite Yo wa Daimachi no Yuya ni itta.  Sono toki made wa mattaku shinu tsumori de ita no da.

  Yu no naka wa Kimochi ga ii.  Yo wa dekiru dake nagaku soko ni iyô to omotta.  Koko sae dereba osoroshii Mondai ga machi-kamaete ite,  Sugu ni mo shinu ka nani ka seneba naranu yô de,  atatakai Yu ni tsukatte iru aida dake ga Jibun no Karada na yô na Ki ga shita. Yo wa nagaku iyô to shita. Shikashi angwai ni hayaku Karada mo arawasatte shimô. Dô shiyô ! agarô ka ?  sore tomo mosukoshi haitte iyô ka ? agattara ittai doko ni ikô ?

 Garasu-do goshi ni Bandai no Onna ga mieru.  Sore wa Kyonen kono Yu ni yoku itta koro ita Musume, kono aida itta toki wa dô shita no ka mienakatta.  Hana no hikui, shikashi nagara Kesshoku no ii, Otoko-zuki rashii Marugao no Onna de atta ga, kono ichi-nen tarazu no aida ni Hito ga kawatta ka to mieru kurai futotte iru.  Musume zakari no Hi no yô na Appaku ni Karada ga uzuite iru yô ni mieru......  Kono Onna no Nikutai no Henkwa wa Yo wo shite iro-iro no Kûsô wo okosashimeta.

  De-yô ka de-mai ka to kangaete iru to ------ shinô ka shinumai ka to yû Mondai ga, deyô ka demai ka no Mondai ni utsutte, koko ni Yo no Shinriteki-jôtai ga henkwa-shita.  Mizu wo kabutte agatta toki, Yo no Kokoro wa yohodo karokatta.  Soshite Tairyô wo hakaru to 12kwan 200me atta.  Senjitsu yori 400 me fuete iru.  Tabako ni Hi wo tsukete Yuya wo deru to, Yu-agari no Hada ni Kûki ga kokochi-yoku sawaru.  Kaku no da !  to yû Ki ga okotta.  Soshite Matsuya e itte Genko-shi wo katta.

  Heya e kaette Ma mo naku Miyazaki kun no Tegami ga tsuita.

  Yo wa ............!  Miyazaki kun wa, 6gwatsu ni nattara Yo no Kazoku wo Tôkyô ni yokoshite kureru to yû. Ryohi mo nani mo shinpai shinakute mo ii to yû. ............

 Kyô, Yo wa mattaku Jibun no Kibun wo akaruku shiyô-shiyô to yû koto bakari ni tsutomete Hi wo okutta yô na mono da.  Atama ga sukoshi itakutte ya-ya mo suruto Sekai ga kuraku naru yô na Ki ga shita.  Sha kara kaette kite Meshi wo kutte iru to Kindaichi kun ga kita.  Yahari Benkyô shitaku nai Ban da to yû.

 "Konya dake asobô ! "

  Soshite futari wa 8 ji goro Uchi wo dete, doko e ikô to mo iwazu ni Asakusa e itta.  Denkikwan no Kwatsudo-shashin wo mita ga Kyô ga nai no de Ma mo naku dete, soshite ' Tôkaen ' wo aruita. Naze ka utsukushii Onna ga takusan Me ni tsuita.  To-aru tokoro e hippari-komareta ga, soko kara wa sugu ni nigeta : soshite mata Betsu no tokoro e hairu to, ' Gesture ' ni tonda Onna ga shikiri ni nani ka ogotte kure to yû. ' Yasuke ' wo kutta.

  ' Shinmatsu-midori ! '   Sore wa itsu ka Kitahara to haitte Sake wo nonda tokoro da.  Futari wa l0ji han goro ni soko e haitta.  Tama-ko to yû Onna wa Yo no Kao ni Mioboe ga aru to itta.  Utsukushikute, soshite Hin no aru (Kotoba mo) Onna da.  Sono Onna ga shikiri ni sono Kyôgû ni tsuite no Fuhei to Okami no hidoi koto to, Jibun no Mi no ue to wo katatta.  Yo wa Kabe ni kakete aru Samisen no Ito wo Tsume de hajiki, hate wa sore wo tori oroshite odoketa Mane wo shita.  Naze sonna Mane wo shita ka ?  Yo wa ukarete ita no ka ?

  Ina ! Yo wa nan to yû koto mo naku waga Mi no Okidokoro ga Sekai-jû ni nakunatta yô na Kimochi ni osowarete ita.  " Atama ga itai kara Konya dake asobô ! "  Sore wa Uso ni chigai nai.  Sonnara nani wo Yo wa motomete ita rô ?  Onna no Niku ka ?  Sake ka ?  Osoraku sô dewa nai !  Sonnara nani ka ?  Jibun ni mo wakaranu !

  Jiishiki wa Yo no Kokoro wo fukai fukai tokoro e tsurete iku.  Yo wa sono osoroshii Fukami e shizunde ikitaku nakatta.  Uchi e wa kaeri taku nai : nani ka iya na Koto ga Yo wo matteru yô da.  Soshite Hongô ga Baka ni tôi tokoro no yô de, kaette iku no ga Okkû da.  Sonnara dô suru ?  Dô mo shiyô ga nai. Mi no Oki-dokoro no nai to yû Kanji wa, Yo wo shite Itazura ni Baka na Mane wo seshimeta.

 ' Watashi, Raigetsu no 5 ka ni koko wo demasu wa."  to Tama-ko ga kanashi sô na Kao wo shite itta.

  " Deru sa !  Deyô to omottara sugu deru ni kagiru."

  " Demo Shakkin ga arimasu mono."

  " Ikura ? "

  " Hairu toki 40 yen de shita ga, sore ga Anata, dan-dan tsumotte 100 yen ni mo natterunde gozai-masu wa.  Kimono datte ichi-mai mo koshirae wa shinain desu keredo ...... ."

 " Yo wa mô taerarenaku naru yô na Ki ga shita.  Naku ka, Jôdan wo yû ka, hoka ni Shikata ga nai yô na Kimochi da.  Shikashi Yo wa sono toki Jôdan mo ienakatta : muron nakenakatta.

  Chôba de wa Tama-chan no Warukuchi wo itteru Okami no koe.  Soto ni wa gebita Naniwa-bushi to, Hyôkin na Hiyakashi-kyaku no koe to, Kûkyo na tokoro kara deru yô na Onna-geinin no Uta no Fushi !

  ' Ukiyo-kôji ne ! "  to Yo wa Kindaichi kun ni itta.

 Sake wo meijita. Soshite Yo wa 3 bai gui-gui to tsuzuke-zama ni nonda. Ei wa tachimachi hasshita.  Yo no Kokoro wa kurai Fuchi e ochite yuku-mai to shite yameru Tori no Habataki suru yô ni mogaite ita.

  lya na Okami ga kita.  Yo wa 2 yen dashita. Soshite Rinshitsu ni itte Oen to yû Onna to 5 fun-kan bakari neta.  Tama-chan ga Mukai ni kite sen no Heya ni itta toki wa, Kindaichi kun wa Yoko ni natte ita.  Yo wa Mono wo iitaku nai yô na Kimochi datta ......... . Tôtô Fuchi e ochita to yû yô na ...... !

  Deta. Densha wa Kurumazaka made shika nakatta.  Futari wa lkenohata kara aruite kaetta.  Yo wa Tomo ni yori-kakari nagara ii-gataki Kanashimi no Michi wo aruku yô na Kimochi : Yotte mo ita.

  " Sake wo nonde naku Hito ga aru,  Boku wa Konya sono Kimochi ga wakatta yô na Kimochi ga suru."

  " Ah ! "
 " Uchi e ittara Boku wo daite nete kure masen ka ? "

 Futari wa lkwa-Daigaku no yoko no Kurayami wo ' Aoi Kao ' no Hanashi wo shinagara aruita.

  Kaette kite Mon wo tataku toki, Yo wa Jibun no Mune wo tataite iya na Oto wo kikuyô na Ki ga shita.